she looked like the before picture.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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