I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Everything about him screamed your future.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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