Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
