I just saw a hot homeless man
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
