This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
