I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
