My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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