I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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