my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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