I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
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I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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