What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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