evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize