Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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