Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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