Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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