He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
