The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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