ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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