I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
