I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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