maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
