good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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