you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
