entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
