apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
