And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
