I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it was like eating out sand paper
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
