have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
