I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
