Kareoke will never be a sober sport
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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