Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
