i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize