I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
