The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
