if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
