I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
