She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
