where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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