Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
