She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
