talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
