btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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