I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think my moral compass just broke
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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