I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
