That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
