i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
