quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
this just has baby written all over it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My penis needs a shock collar
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
