I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Randomize
