Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
