i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
