There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
