Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
