dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
