I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
