So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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