he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
