I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
