toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Randomize
