Christians are straight up FREAKS
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
