Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
