Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
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the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
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So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize