No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
