I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
