Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My cat gives me a boner
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
