I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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