How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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