next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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