I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
