The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
