I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
