so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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